Did You Ever

 
Every life is unique; mine has had some unusual experiences:

Have you ever thrown rocks at passing cars?

Have you ever been awakened by a roach crawling in your hair?

Have you ever stepped on a rattlesnake?

Have you ever pulled leeches off your body after swimming in tropical water?

Have you ever had the dentist assistant rub her private parts all over your hand - when you were underage?

Have you ever had sex 6 times in one day with the same woman (or man depending on your sex)?

Did you ever outrun the police on a motorcycle?

Have you ever gone over 160 MPH in a car - on a public street?

Did you ever drink coffee and smoke cigarettes with you neighbors mother while waiting for the school bus when you were 10?

When you were in the 7th grade, did you ever attend the Christmas Pageant in the school auditorium and cut a loud fart while they were singing "Silent Night" on stage?

Did any of your uncles every spend time in prison?

Did you ever peek through the blinds at midnight and watch the prostitute who lived in a one room cottage behind your house while she was practicing her trade?

Did you ever French-kiss your 1st cousin?  OK, but did you then have sex with her?  Aha!

Did you ever get bitten by a monkey?

Did you ever see your father pull a gun on your uncle?

Did you ever see your mother come at your father with a knife?

Did you ever go through a red light at over 90 MPH?

Did you ever see someone eat their own feces?

Did you ever drug a woman and then have sex with her?  Neither did I, but I just wanted to keep you on your toes.

Have you ever had to give someone and  enema?

Have you ever been in a gang fight?

Have you ever been in weather where the wind chill factor was over -140 degrees Fahrenheit?

Have you ever had any teeth knocked out in a fight?

Have you ever spent over $3,000 in one week eating out?

Have you ever been outside on a day when the temperature was over +135 Fahrenheit?